Privacy

Privacy is a hot topic in society. I admire people who still value their privacy. It's nice to know that there are still people who exist that don't mind saying, "These aspects of my life are off limits to the public." I think that everybody needs parts of themselves that are just for themselves. For example, I find that some people find me extremely reserved, which is true for the most part; however, there are other elements of my personality that aren’t as reserved. I only reveal certain characteristics to a select few people and the rest are mine. No one should have complete access to you, not even your partner or your friends and family. The world is incredibly loud, and it’s hard to keep the noise out and the quiet in. That’s why privacy is significant. Each person needs a space that is silent. Besides, before the age of social media, people lived their lives privately, which made the best and worst moments of people’s lives confidential, not universal. Make sure that before you hit that “post” or “tweet” button, you can deal with the mental and physical repercussions of exposing your personal matters. I strongly advise against it, but what do I know? I’m just some schmuck whose blog you may or may not read from time to time. 😊

Wisdom

Wisdom comes from knowledge and pain. It comes from learning from your mistakes, and it comes from growing through anguish. No one wants to feel pain. It's an awful feeling. It sucks the life out of you. I've never not experienced exhaustion through my suffering. I can't even begin to count the tears that stream down my face when the agony just won't let up, even though I know it won't last forever. Sure, it would probably feel easier to just go around the things we hate rather than go through them, but it would be a great disservice to avoid pain. I think it's a lot better to embrace it. We gain knowledge through two channels: failures and successes. What you take from both makes all the difference in how you grow, so make it count.

Conversations with yourself

What type of conversations are we having with ourselves? Are they kind? Are they constructive? Are they highly critical? Are they cruel? Are they reassuring? Are they dubious? I wonder because we spend more time conversing with ourselves than we do other people. Most of the time it's internally and other moments it's out loud. I talk to myself a lot, but I must admit that it's not always friendly discourse. This is to say that words are much more that words. They carry weight. Words can be hurtful, but they can also be beneficial and inspirational. It's all about the choice of words and how you arrange them in a sentence. Instead of saying "I'm NOT enough" try saying "I'm MORE than enough." Instead of asking "Why am I such a failure?" try asking "What can I learn from my failures?" It feels much easier to love and accept other people and their imperfections than to pour love and understanding into our own garden. Think about how you speak to yourself. Meditate on it. If it's not positive, then I challenge you to give yourself a fresh start. Now, go on and be kind to yourself!



Love,
Nyasia <3 

My Natural Hair Journey

I've wanted to publish a post about my natural hair journey but was too afraid that I didn't have the right words to express myself. I've decided, after careful consideration, that it is necessary to share my feelings about my natural hair journey. Brace yourselves! It isn't glitz and glam and self-love. It's feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, sorrow, and envy.

Let's start from the beginning. My mother began relaxing my hair when I was nine years old. I remember her taking me to the Dominican salon up the block from our apartment in Washington Heights. Me, my mother, and my grandmother were regulars at the salon, so they loved us. I remember leaving the salon that day and people in the street looked at my hair in amazement. It was long and silky and bone straight. My mother ALWAYS took extremely good care of my hair, and though I wasn't always grateful for that as a child, I'm certainly grateful for it now.

As a child into my early teens, I kept my hair long. Even though it was chemically treated, my mother cared for it so well that it thrived despite the damaging effects of a relaxer. I began keeping my hair on the shorter side at about fourteen years old. It was still relaxed. This is when I started exploring bob haircuts and color (you can't begin to imagine how much conditioner I went through on a weekly basis! I STILL do).

Fast forward to the age of twenty-one, and I decided that it was time to let my hair grow natural again. You see, my mother only relaxed my hair to make it more manageable (wash days were and still are an Olympic sport). Thus, began the process of transitioning. The last time I relaxed my hair was in May 2014.

Man, oh man! Transitioning to back to natural hair was not only stressful, but time consuming as well. I had to relearn my natural curl pattern and fight the desire to constantly run my flat iron through my hair. Not to mention hair products for natural hair can be pricey!

After crying over the physical exhaustion caused by detangling, I decided I wanted to sport dreadlocks. I started my locs in July 2016. A little over two years later, I started missing the looseness of my hair, and I had my hairstylist cut them off November 2018 (I'm picky. I know).

Fast forward to today and I continue to discover new things about what my natural hair does and doesn't benefit from. It isn't easy, and after all these years of my journey, I'm still plagued by insecurity regarding my hair texture. Women of color are notorious for facing hair discrimination and hair angst.

 My mother is black, and my father is Puerto Rican. I have a blend of curly and wavy hair. My curls and waves are on the softer side, and my hair is thick. I keep my hair healthy by moisturizing, regular trims, and weekly deep conditioning sessions. With all the care I put into my hair, there are still many moments when I mourn the end of my relaxed hair days.

There are days when I look in the mirror, and I cringe at the site of my hair. It may sound awful, but it's my truth. Then, there are days when I'm proud to be a curly girl. Other days, I miss the ease of detangling my hair when it was in a chemically treated state. I often envy the textures of the naturalistas whose beautiful curls grace YouTube. It makes me wonder if my curls are just as appealing, and though people have told me how much they love my hair, I've also had the dissatisfaction of being told my hair wasn't good enough because it isn't straight.

I continually wrestle with negative thoughts about my natural hair. Self-love doesn't grow overnight. It's a brutal excursion that will tear you apart before you can put yourself back together again, but it's also enlightening and freeing. I have good days and bad days. I'm grateful for both.

There is an array of reasons why someone chooses to embark on a natural hair journey. I didn't embark on my journey to make a statement (not that anything is wrong with that, of course). I made the switch simply because I wanted healthier hair, and to me that meant ditching the chemicals.

If you, like myself, are amid a natural hair journey, just know that whatever feelings you're dealing with are normal and valid. Take the good with the bad and learn as much as possible. Reach out to other naturals and ask them about their journey. There are a ton of great resources online and remember... Natural or relaxed... your hair is made of sugar and spice and everything nice!

What does being the best version of yourself mean in the long run?

I struggle with the idea of being the best version of myself. I'm confident that everyone struggles with this notion, but my struggle lies in knowing and understanding what that is. What version of myself is the best? Is it short lived? Does being the best version of myself mean reaching self-acceptance, or does it mean endlessly chasing the concept of perfection? I think that always wanting to be the best version of oneself can almost be equated to the desire of always wanting more. I believe that may be how some people perceive it. Of course, I cannot and will not speak for everyone, but I have heard many people speak about their journey of self-improvement as though its infinite. That's a lot of pressure to place on oneself, in my humble opinion. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't want to better yourself. I just think that maybe part of being the best version of yourself is loving who you are throughout the journey and maybe knowing when it’s okay to rest. I may have just answered a couple of my own questions! I usually talk myself through writing. It helps me express myself better. This World Mental Health Day take time to learn how to nurture your mind, body, and soul. Remember not to put so much pressure on yourself because life is hard enough as it is.

Rainy Days

Rainy days are for the lovers who shower in sexual gratification.
Rainy days are for the lonely souls who drown in a river of tears.
Rainy days are for the departed. Their footprints cleansed from the earth.
Rainy days are for the troublesome spirits seeking spiritual rebirth.
Rainy days are for masking my pain. For washing away my tears in the rain.

My Love

my love is pure
my love is a breathe of fresh air
my love is solace
my love is nurturing
my love is not vile
nor sick
my love is shelter from the pouring rain
my love is a blanket of warmth
my love is a story
my love is genuine
not a vault of falsehoods
nor an illusion
nor a practical joke
my love is a bouquet of roses
red with passion
gentle as a whisper
my love is an adventure
my love is infinite
not venomous
nor hazy
my love heals
my love is an antidote
my love is security
my love is patience
not dubios
nor restless
my love moves mountains
my love is near
not distant
nor conditional
my love makes you better
my love is an answer
not a question
nor a fleeting moment
my love is surrender
not war
nor a battlefield
my love is wealth
my love is luxury
my love is empowerment
not scarcity
nor imprisonment
my love is necessary
my love is everything
my love is... me

Fans & Non-fans

I often wonder how many people actually read this blog. If you do, you probably think I'm lame for not posting enough. If you don't, then it doesn't mean a hill of beans. I hope those that stop by and read my content find some comfort.

Robert Forster, a chance meeting, and the art of being humble

Saturday, I came across a very interesting video published on YouTube (what a surprise! doesn't everyone?). The video stars actor Robert Forster who Tarantino fans will recognize from the 1997 film, "Jackie Brown." The video is a part of a series entitled "Best Story Ever," which consists of guests telling their most unusual experiences. Forster's story wasn't outlandish, but instead extremely inspirational. Though the clip is only two minutes and twenty-three seconds long, it left an impression on me that can't be tainted. Forster explains how his once promising career took a dive that lasted a lot longer than most people can bare. He went from auspicious actor, working alongside big names such as Marlon Brando and Elizabeth Taylor, starring in the highly praised 1969 film called "Medium Cool," to not getting work. How does someone with the talent and charisma of Forster stop getting work? Welcome to the life of an actor. He goes on to explain that with four kids and two ex-wives, he had huge responsibilities such as trying to put his children through college, which is not a cheap or easy task. He thought, like anyone who's ever been down on their luck, that it wasn't going to happen for him. He figured he would have to find a different means of making a living, but in a twist of fate, Tarantino shows up at the Silver Spoon coffee shop located in West Hollywood. Now, Forster was a regular at this coffee shop. It was his place of solitude. He even sat at the same table each time he entered the joint. As Susan King of the Los Angeles Times wrote in a 2011 article, Forster referred to that table as "...his home away from home...". One fateful day in 1996, in walks Tarantino. Forster calls him over and asks him what he's working on. Tarantino tells him that he'w adapting a screenplay for Elmore Leonard's novel, "Rum Punch." Five years prior to this encounter, Forster says that he auditioned for a role in Tarantino's 1992 film, "Reservoir Dogs." Well, he didn't get the part. Tarantino suggests Forster read the novel, and so he does. Forster declares that about six months later, Tarantino returned to the Silver Spoon this time sitting in Robert's seat. Without hesitation, Quentin hands Forster a script and asks him to read it. This moment is the beginning of Forster's career resurgence. 

Someone made a very insightful comment on YouTube beneath the video, and not only did it further put Forster's story into perspective, but it also slightly restored my faith in the positive impact of social media comment sections. It's possible for people to make constructive statements on the Internet! Anyway, Christopher, the Yoda-esque YouTube contributor, elaborated Forster's notion of maintaining a good attitude even through life's misfortunes. Christopher also explained that Forster could have been bitter about not landing a role in "Reservoir Dogs," but instead, he embraced Tarantino when he saw him. This really struck a chord with me. He's right. Forster COULD have been bitter towards Tarantino. After all, during the time of his audition, he was in a bad place in his career. There are at least three ways Forster could have reacted to his rejection. One, is that because he was already a seasoned actor at the time, he could have felt entitled and threw a fit because he wasn't chosen. Two, because he was hadn't worked in a long time, he could have allowed the rejection to discourage him from acting and eventually miss out on the opportunity to read the screenplay for "Jackie Brown." Three, when he saw Tarantino again, he could have blown him off or called him over to rant about not being casted in one of his earlier films. Forster didn't harbor any ill feelings toward Tarantino and chose to read his script, which led to a career revival and an Academy Award nomination! 

The way Forster carried himself during the meeting demonstrated his humility, grace, and dignity. His story taught me the power of not taking everything so personal. Not everyone is out to get you. There have been many times in my life that I allowed rejection to crush my spirit. Hell, I still do, but after watching this video, I realize how detrimental it is to the pursuit one's dreams and their growth. Forster provided me with immeasurable wisdom. He didn't allow bitterness or negativity to cloud his judgement. Rather, he displayed a level of civility rarely witnessed in this day and age. His good attitude led him to the opportunity of a lifetime. What makes his feat even better is the fact that he was an older gentleman when this happened. I believe in rooting for people of all ages. 

This is a testament to the idea that rejection builds character and leads to success. The road to success is paved with rejection. Trust me. In the end, though I wasn't looking for the video, it may have been looking for me.

I attached two links to this post. One is the video, and the other is an article published in the LA Times. I hope you learn as much as I have!

Love, 
Nyasia 

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2tpyV1tjwQM


https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/la-xpm-2011-mar-14-la-et-classic-hollywood-20110314-story.html

History and Anniversaries

Today is the 20th Anniversary of the release of Smash Mouth's greatest hit, "All Star." Another honorable mention is Stephen Sommers 1999 film "The Mummy," which is one of my favorite movies of all time! Smash Mouth was right. The years start coming and they don't stop coming. I was five years old when these pop culture masterpieces graced us with their presence. Also, "10 Ten Things I Hate About You," "Never Been Kissed," and "She's All That" celebrated their 20th anniversaries this year. I have a deep love for teen films, especially nineties flicks because, well, I'm a nineties baby. Now, of course I'm also a huge fan of eighties teen films. Hello! Molly Ringwald is a goddess. Just wanted to throw that out there! I love anniversaries because it's a time to reminisce about the past and the passage of time. Of course, not all anniversaries are joyful, but even so, those moments of reflection are a testament to the endurance and resilience of society and the human condition. It's impossible not to have a love-hate relationship with history. History is triumphant, accomplished, dark, and morbid, but it's meant for us to acknowledge and embrace so that we can move forward and progress as an association. Now, this isn't always the case, as you can see; however, there have been and always will be achievements to be celebrated, so don't be too pessimistic about the present and future. My advice to everyone is to positively contribute to the world as much as possible and jubilate about the beauty it possesses.


Love,
Nyasia

Long time no see

Well, hello there, lovelies! I know it's been a long time since I've posted on this blog, and I can't apologize enough for my absence. The only thing I can say regarding my sudden disappearance is that I forgot about my blog. I know what you're thinking. How the hell can one FORGET about the blog that they created? Life's distractions, I guess? Anyway, I'm not interested in dwelling on my shortcomings. I hope 2019 has been kind to you thus far. Tomorrow is the start of May, and I still can't believe how fast the year is flying by! I hope most of you treated yourselves this past weekend by seeing "Avengers: Endgame." I was extremely moved by the themes that the film explored along with the acting. It's been an eventful eleven years since the MCU began. I think it has taken fans and characters to new heights. I'll be brainstorming some topics to discuss here, so in the meantime I ask for your patience and understanding. Stay golden, folks!