Do You Ever Wonder Why We're All Different?

The world is a unique and diverse place. Wouldn’t you agree? Why is that? Why are we all different, yet still the same? These questions are fair to ponder. I watched Randa Haines’ 1986 film, Children of a Lesser God, starring William Hurt and Marlee Matlin. It’s a beautiful movie. The film is about an instructor, played by William Hurt, who begins a new teaching at a school for the deaf. He meets a young deaf woman, played by Marlee Matlin, who works at the school as a custodian, and they pursue a romantic relationship. She is intelligent and beautiful, but withdrawn and angry. It was a pleasure to watch the actors communicate in American Sign Language. It’s such a gorgeous language. The flick inspired me to look deep within myself and contemplate why we’re all built differently. I feel confident that I discovered the answer.

We’re meant to be different because it teaches us the various ways in which one can maneuver through the world. There are people who can’t hear or are hard of hearing, and the way they navigate society contrasts greatly to the way that hearing people live. The same goes for people who are blind, mentally and physically handicapped, come from disparate racial and cultural backgrounds, and/or identify with a sexual orientation other than heterosexual. There’s no default lifestyle. There isn’t necessarily a right or wrong way to live. Of course, in terms of ethics and morals right and wrong exist, but different does not automatically mean bad.

What makes us the same despite our differences? Well, that is straight forward. We all possess a desire to love and be loved. We all feel pain, experience grief, suffer loss, endure trauma, have insecurities, and feel sadness and joy, even if both emotions are fleeting. The list can go on and on, but the point is that if we don’t try to embrace one another’s differences, then we will never understand what it means to be empathetic, and we’ll never know what it’s like to live a full life. I’ll let you ruminate on that.  

What it means to be a woman

It means having your body policed. It means obsessing over your appearance because that is how you are unjustly and unrealistically judged. It means facing age discrimination because society believes that women just grow old while men get better with age. It means being called a "spinster" or "crazy cat lady" when you're an unwed and child-free woman of a certain age. It means fearing for your life when you’re walking home alone, especially at night. It means dreading the reactions you’ll receive when rejecting society’s idea of the “traditional family.” It means facing criticism when sharing your desire to opt out of marriage and/or having children. It sometimes means feeling guilty about wanting to focus on your profession or juggle motherhood and a career. It means constantly being under society’s microscope. It means experiencing shame when you display emotions. It means getting slut shamed for embracing your sexuality and having amazing, consensual sex with whomever you want. For women in Saudi Arabia, it means facing punishment for speaking to male strangers or needing permission from a male guardian to leave an abusive relationship. For women in countries such as Africa, the Middle East, and Asia, it means having your human rights violated through the process of female genital mutilation. It means being at a higher risk of becoming a victim of domestic abuse and fearing that no one will believe your trauma. It also means possessing incredible strength in the face of adversity. It means having the power to influence a generation of women and girls to love and uplift one another. It means educating the masses on the beauty and plight of womanhood. It means accepting women of all backgrounds and lifestyles into your home and heart. It means dressing down or dressing up. It means wearing makeup to enhance your allure, going au naturel, or switching it up. It means decorating your nails. It means changing your hair. It means nurturing people and things. It means using your voice as a vehicle for change. It means having range. Not all women can be who they wish to be, but they should. This poses a threat to women worldwide, INCLUDING LGBTQ women. Love and respect women and not just women you're attracted to. 

Here are a few links about FGM, violence against women, violence against trans people, and the treatment of women in Saudi Arabia:

 https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genital-mutilation

https://www.unwomen.org/en/what-we-do/ending-violence-against-women/facts-and-figures

https://www.hrc.org/resources/violence-against-the-transgender-community-in-2019

https://www.theweek.co.uk/60339/things-women-cant-do-in-saudi-arabia