Privacy

Privacy is a hot topic in society. I admire people who still value their privacy. It's nice to know that there are still people who exist that don't mind saying, "These aspects of my life are off limits to the public." I think that everybody needs parts of themselves that are just for themselves. For example, I find that some people find me extremely reserved, which is true for the most part; however, there are other elements of my personality that aren’t as reserved. I only reveal certain characteristics to a select few people and the rest are mine. No one should have complete access to you, not even your partner or your friends and family. The world is incredibly loud, and it’s hard to keep the noise out and the quiet in. That’s why privacy is significant. Each person needs a space that is silent. Besides, before the age of social media, people lived their lives privately, which made the best and worst moments of people’s lives confidential, not universal. Make sure that before you hit that “post” or “tweet” button, you can deal with the mental and physical repercussions of exposing your personal matters. I strongly advise against it, but what do I know? I’m just some schmuck whose blog you may or may not read from time to time. 😊

Wisdom

Wisdom comes from knowledge and pain. It comes from learning from your mistakes, and it comes from growing through anguish. No one wants to feel pain. It's an awful feeling. It sucks the life out of you. I've never not experienced exhaustion through my suffering. I can't even begin to count the tears that stream down my face when the agony just won't let up, even though I know it won't last forever. Sure, it would probably feel easier to just go around the things we hate rather than go through them, but it would be a great disservice to avoid pain. I think it's a lot better to embrace it. We gain knowledge through two channels: failures and successes. What you take from both makes all the difference in how you grow, so make it count.

Conversations with yourself

What type of conversations are we having with ourselves? Are they kind? Are they constructive? Are they highly critical? Are they cruel? Are they reassuring? Are they dubious? I wonder because we spend more time conversing with ourselves than we do other people. Most of the time it's internally and other moments it's out loud. I talk to myself a lot, but I must admit that it's not always friendly discourse. This is to say that words are much more that words. They carry weight. Words can be hurtful, but they can also be beneficial and inspirational. It's all about the choice of words and how you arrange them in a sentence. Instead of saying "I'm NOT enough" try saying "I'm MORE than enough." Instead of asking "Why am I such a failure?" try asking "What can I learn from my failures?" It feels much easier to love and accept other people and their imperfections than to pour love and understanding into our own garden. Think about how you speak to yourself. Meditate on it. If it's not positive, then I challenge you to give yourself a fresh start. Now, go on and be kind to yourself!



Love,
Nyasia <3 

My Natural Hair Journey

I've wanted to publish a post about my natural hair journey but was too afraid that I didn't have the right words to express myself. I've decided, after careful consideration, that it is necessary to share my feelings about my natural hair journey. Brace yourselves! It isn't glitz and glam and self-love. It's feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, sorrow, and envy.

Let's start from the beginning. My mother began relaxing my hair when I was nine years old. I remember her taking me to the Dominican salon up the block from our apartment in Washington Heights. Me, my mother, and my grandmother were regulars at the salon, so they loved us. I remember leaving the salon that day and people in the street looked at my hair in amazement. It was long and silky and bone straight. My mother ALWAYS took extremely good care of my hair, and though I wasn't always grateful for that as a child, I'm certainly grateful for it now.

As a child into my early teens, I kept my hair long. Even though it was chemically treated, my mother cared for it so well that it thrived despite the damaging effects of a relaxer. I began keeping my hair on the shorter side at about fourteen years old. It was still relaxed. This is when I started exploring bob haircuts and color (you can't begin to imagine how much conditioner I went through on a weekly basis! I STILL do).

Fast forward to the age of twenty-one, and I decided that it was time to let my hair grow natural again. You see, my mother only relaxed my hair to make it more manageable (wash days were and still are an Olympic sport). Thus, began the process of transitioning. The last time I relaxed my hair was in May 2014.

Man, oh man! Transitioning to back to natural hair was not only stressful, but time consuming as well. I had to relearn my natural curl pattern and fight the desire to constantly run my flat iron through my hair. Not to mention hair products for natural hair can be pricey!

After crying over the physical exhaustion caused by detangling, I decided I wanted to sport dreadlocks. I started my locs in July 2016. A little over two years later, I started missing the looseness of my hair, and I had my hairstylist cut them off November 2018 (I'm picky. I know).

Fast forward to today and I continue to discover new things about what my natural hair does and doesn't benefit from. It isn't easy, and after all these years of my journey, I'm still plagued by insecurity regarding my hair texture. Women of color are notorious for facing hair discrimination and hair angst.

 My mother is black, and my father is Puerto Rican. I have a blend of curly and wavy hair. My curls and waves are on the softer side, and my hair is thick. I keep my hair healthy by moisturizing, regular trims, and weekly deep conditioning sessions. With all the care I put into my hair, there are still many moments when I mourn the end of my relaxed hair days.

There are days when I look in the mirror, and I cringe at the site of my hair. It may sound awful, but it's my truth. Then, there are days when I'm proud to be a curly girl. Other days, I miss the ease of detangling my hair when it was in a chemically treated state. I often envy the textures of the naturalistas whose beautiful curls grace YouTube. It makes me wonder if my curls are just as appealing, and though people have told me how much they love my hair, I've also had the dissatisfaction of being told my hair wasn't good enough because it isn't straight.

I continually wrestle with negative thoughts about my natural hair. Self-love doesn't grow overnight. It's a brutal excursion that will tear you apart before you can put yourself back together again, but it's also enlightening and freeing. I have good days and bad days. I'm grateful for both.

There is an array of reasons why someone chooses to embark on a natural hair journey. I didn't embark on my journey to make a statement (not that anything is wrong with that, of course). I made the switch simply because I wanted healthier hair, and to me that meant ditching the chemicals.

If you, like myself, are amid a natural hair journey, just know that whatever feelings you're dealing with are normal and valid. Take the good with the bad and learn as much as possible. Reach out to other naturals and ask them about their journey. There are a ton of great resources online and remember... Natural or relaxed... your hair is made of sugar and spice and everything nice!

What does being the best version of yourself mean in the long run?

I struggle with the idea of being the best version of myself. I'm confident that everyone struggles with this notion, but my struggle lies in knowing and understanding what that is. What version of myself is the best? Is it short lived? Does being the best version of myself mean reaching self-acceptance, or does it mean endlessly chasing the concept of perfection? I think that always wanting to be the best version of oneself can almost be equated to the desire of always wanting more. I believe that may be how some people perceive it. Of course, I cannot and will not speak for everyone, but I have heard many people speak about their journey of self-improvement as though its infinite. That's a lot of pressure to place on oneself, in my humble opinion. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't want to better yourself. I just think that maybe part of being the best version of yourself is loving who you are throughout the journey and maybe knowing when it’s okay to rest. I may have just answered a couple of my own questions! I usually talk myself through writing. It helps me express myself better. This World Mental Health Day take time to learn how to nurture your mind, body, and soul. Remember not to put so much pressure on yourself because life is hard enough as it is.

Rainy Days

Rainy days are for the lovers who shower in sexual gratification.
Rainy days are for the lonely souls who drown in a river of tears.
Rainy days are for the departed. Their footprints cleansed from the earth.
Rainy days are for the troublesome spirits seeking spiritual rebirth.
Rainy days are for masking my pain. For washing away my tears in the rain.

My Love

my love is pure
my love is a breathe of fresh air
my love is solace
my love is nurturing
my love is not vile
nor sick
my love is shelter from the pouring rain
my love is a blanket of warmth
my love is a story
my love is genuine
not a vault of falsehoods
nor an illusion
nor a practical joke
my love is a bouquet of roses
red with passion
gentle as a whisper
my love is an adventure
my love is infinite
not venomous
nor hazy
my love heals
my love is an antidote
my love is security
my love is patience
not dubios
nor restless
my love moves mountains
my love is near
not distant
nor conditional
my love makes you better
my love is an answer
not a question
nor a fleeting moment
my love is surrender
not war
nor a battlefield
my love is wealth
my love is luxury
my love is empowerment
not scarcity
nor imprisonment
my love is necessary
my love is everything
my love is... me

Fans & Non-fans

I often wonder how many people actually read this blog. If you do, you probably think I'm lame for not posting enough. If you don't, then it doesn't mean a hill of beans. I hope those that stop by and read my content find some comfort.